It is not unusual to be walking down a street in China and “Kapow”, bang, bang, bang – fireworks just start going off all around you. It could be because there is a funeral, a shop opening, someone getting married, a birthday, or just to honour some long lost ancestor and bring luck and good fortune.
This morning I was on my way from the bank, where I paid some bills, to the telephone company and then to the laundry to pick up some shirts. Just a normal day really, wandering the suburban streets and doing my chores. When it all started! Bang,bang,bang – only about 50 metres away. Well I have to say it always takes me by surprise and I nearly hit the deck thinking that there was a battle beginning in the streets of Nanjing. However before I had the misfortune of placing my face on the concrete I looked up the road ahead of me and couldn’t believe my eyes.
A lady had been approaching me with several boxes piled high, she was just a few feet away. She was getting ready to strap the boxes to her bicycle, when out jumped a couple of chickens! They had obviously been startled out of their semi comatose state by the fireworks and they were on the run. The lady had some experience with these fowl creatures and she quickly grabbed one by the wing and hung on despite all the squawking and fluffing of feathers, however she wasn’t quite so lucky with the second one and it took off like a Ferrari down the street. So off she went with the other chook firmly in the nook of her arm, leaving her other parcels on the roadside.
As the escapee reached the road a #121 bus came around the corner and went straight over the top of it. I held my breath, I didn’t want a dead chook squished in front of me and I knew the poor Chinese lady was also holding her breath – this bird was probably on the menu for her restaurant tonight! The bus continued on its way and the chicken emerged startled and more frightened and determined to outwit busses, cars, people and bikes and head for the hills.
Now chooks don’t seem to run in straight lines and also don’t seem to know where they really want to run to. Add in a healthy dose of adrenaline and you have a chook doing circuits at pace, being chased by a Chinese lady who is yelling to all her ancestors and clutching her other precious cargo to her breast.
I am not one for chasing and catching chooks. I have no experience in the field at all. All the chickens I have cooked for dinner come frozen from a deep freeze and ready plucked at that! But I was up to clapping my hands and steering the chook back in the direction of the lady. I hovered back and forth at the edge of the road clapping and flapping and keeping the poor thing from become a drive thru corpse!
The neighbourhood had all come out to see this mad foreign woman clapping and dancing on the edge of the road; the chicken panicked and prancing and the poor Chinese lady huffing and flustered, with the other chook tucked firmly under her arm. I was successful at keeping the chook off the road, however it darted straight into an open door nearby – a restaurant where people had just sat down to tea. They all jumped up and the chook started flying from table to table and finally out the door. The mechanic from the shop next door, the security guard from the bank, the waitress from the restaurant and the poor Chinese lady chased and cornered the chook and managed to capture it.
Meanwhile I gathered the boxes back together thinking that she would need them to put the chooks back in. The people in the neighbourhood were looking at me quite suspiciously – I think they thought I was going to light off with the boxes. So I waited and watched till everyone had calmed down, meanwhile tidying the boxes and getting them ready to become chicken prisons again.
The poor Chinese lady had gathered her dignity again and with a chook under each arm she managed to mount the bicycle and stuff them into one box. She left the other box on the ground where I had put it. She must have said “Xie Xie” (Thank you) about 20 times in a few minutes as she rode the bike out onto the road and off to home. A few minutes later you would never have known – all had returned to normal, except for the giggling laowai woman, strolling up the road with happy tears rolling down her face. It is so much fun living in China!
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